The conversation with boys is explaining how it’s a matter of safety for those who choose to date men. When a woman turns down a male, they don’t just have to worry about hurting someone’s feelings, they may have to worry about their personal safety.
Ever Considered an Exit Strategy After a Date?
They also may have to worry about being verbally, physically, and possibly emotionally abused. When a man gets turned down, they never think that they might be hurt by the other individual. They do not plan an exit strategy where they go on the entire date and get dropped off somewhere that conceals their real home. They don’t have these types of concerns…women do.
There Must be A Way Out That Does Not Create Anxiety
Creating a space where boys and men understand they must create a space that allows the other to say “no” at any moment is paramount to changing this destructive cycle. Boys and men must be aware that they must allow for the other to have a way out that does not create anxiety over being harmed.
This goes deeper than a matter of some affluent men being privileged and having the idea they are above any sort of law. This is inherent in most males, regardless of the socioeconomics. Males are raised to believe that if they want something, they can take it, regardless of consequence. This makes dating for a female, a truly scary proposition as they roll the dice on if they will become on the high statistics of sexual assault or physical violence as a direct result of a date.
Candid Conversation Regarding Rejection
Having a very candid conversation regarding rejection will no doubt expose some insecurities in yourself as you reach out to your boys.
That’s human, and it should make us take personal inventory of ourselves and how we’ve supported this cycle.
This takes being vulnerable and showing the boys that you can be vulnerable and its no sign of weakness. Make these conversations real by giving examples you can draw from personally, both good and bad. Make it a human conversation that is more impactful than a lecture.
